Survivors
of trauma have not reached psychological maturity
When
people are survivors of certain trauma, they readily admit that they got older
but never really grew up. One of the ways in which survivors know they have not
grown up is that they identify with some of their fixed emotions, feeling their
anger is triggered by someone: "I'm angry because you make me angry".
Easily triggered, they do not experience emotions created as appropriate to
their beliefs, desires, involvements and what they want out of life.
Inner
work opens onto direct communication with the subconscious mind
This
technique of inner work called the tunnel therapy is one which opens onto a
direct communication with the subconscious mind to heal past traumas and to
overcome limiting beliefs. The people who consult in tunnel therapy face and
tackle their problems at their root cause.
Emotions
that remain locked in are negative affects
Everyone
is enabled to access their emotions. Certain emotions like fear and stress stay
locked in the body, profoundly affecting most people much of the time. Once
they have finally released states of fear, anger, anxiety, stress, depression
and loneliness, and the blockages are removed, vitality flows freely and a sense of calm and well-being is expected.
In
essence, three ways are commonly used in handling a feeling:
Suppress
it. But mostly, suppressed feelings stay there, building up and
festering inside, causing anxiety, tension, depression, and many stress-related
problems, causing the individual to behave in ways he doesn't understand,
seemingly out of control.
Express
it. Losing one's temper relieves the pressure of accumulated emotions
because it puts the feeling into some type of action, but it doesn't get rid of
the feeling, or the roots that create the feeling. It only relieves the pressure of it
momentarily.
Avoiding
the issue. Coping with the feelings by avoiding the issue, by
talking, watching TV, eating, smoking, drinking, taking drugs, having sex,
thwarts our efforts to escape them; we know they are still there. The form of
stress they generate takes a toll on the body.
Option for handling a feeling – once you focus on it, fully
experience it, you can let it go.
It
involves putting words on it, working it out, releasing it, and then,
discharging it from the body, from the mind in order to develop better coping strategies where and when it applies.
Stress,
anxiety, shame, guilt, pain, sadness, trauma
These
are feelings and emotions consistent with being human. At times, these can
block our ability to live life fully and give us the impression that we are
stuck in situations beyond our control, such as when we find ourselves
repeating patterns of violence in relationships, failures with career choices,
or repetitions of physical ailments and health issues indicating our ill being.
The tunnel therapy is a powerful tool to let go of negative emotions
Tunnel therapy is a simple but powerful tool that can help regain the sense of
choice over negative emotions and help each individual recover personal power,
turning the stuck energy into empowerment so that he can freely choose what is
best in his life. After releasing the negative emotions, the individual is free
to experience more of life's joy and happiness as well as health.
Violence
and harassment in the workplace
A lot
of people have experienced violence in the workplace. It usually starts
benignly, but some claim it has damaged their self-esteem so much that once
they got away from the agressor, they were unable to return to work. Evidently,
there are two sides to all stories, but what follows is the story of one person
who has decided to fight for her rights.
TESTIMONIES
Theme: violence
in the workplace
Angela
writes:
I
raised my children before I went on the workforce. When I first began, I was
excited and very motivated. The work entailed training people and I loved the
contact with the other workers. Eventually other women joined the task group
and it soon became clear that one person who didn't know me was already against
me. Snide remarks about my choice of attire, taking all the opportunities to
speak down to me in front of the others, tatling to our boss about my
supposedly wrongdoings, direct attacks at the dinner table concerning my faith,
all these remarks became everyday events.
When I
went to my boss regarding this, she said I was an adult, that I should
communicate to this other worker about how it made me feel. I tried but this
person had a bagful of tricks to destabilize me. It was ten long years before I
was able to make a change in my work situation, but the damage was done. When I
entered therapy, it became clear that I was suffering from low esteem and I
tracked it down to all the low, unspeakable comments addressed to me while on
that workteam. Not only did I feel fragile and unimportant, but somehow, I
almost validated the right to others to denigrate me like that. I almost felt
responsable for the attacks and it was really because I knew I must be wrong
about this that I even spoke about it. I felt shameful of this situation
and was afraid I would be judged on the merits of those attacks on my person.
Truly, I felt demolished.
Eventually,
I looked at other aspects of violence in my life. It was very liberating, but I
had to build my self-esteem over again. It was a lot of work and I could have
avoided all of that if I had trusted my instincts as soon as it
started. Today, I would do it differently and I'm proud to have gained
back my self-love and my dignity.
The
feeling of being abandoned
Family
and friends of suicidal people bring them to this therapy with a lot of
expectations. Often, the person is even brought by family members who are
desperately trying to save her or him.
In this
instance, I met Lee when she was getting other services than mine. When she
became my client, I had no idea what would happen as I had absolutely no
background or family to fall back on should she attempt something at my Center.
Theme: heal
from being abandoned
Lee
writes:
When I
first met Ms. Loranger, I had attempted on my life 13 times already. I was
under 40 years old and didn't think I could go on much longer, having been
abandoned by my ex-husband shortly before.
Maybe
you think that I didn't really want to die, maybe so, but each time I thought
"This is it!" And I was so angry when I woke up in the hospital after
trying again.
I tell
you, I was building on my repertoire of techniques so that one of these times I
would succeed.
You
know how you make scenarios in your mind. When I was given Ms. Loranger's name
and accepted to do the therapy, I had to do it, just to prove that I had given
it a try. When I did kill myself, whoever had believed it could help me would
not hold it against me, because after all I had tried. Right?
Six
sessions later, I was a little better. When life has been so miserable for so
long, every little bit counts and it is noticeable. I could also tell that
there was a slight shift in my attitude, my "thoughts" even appeared
more "normal" if I can say it that way. It still took a full year of
process to RESTORE me.
I'm
lucky in the sense that I own property and I was thus able to fund my therapy.
After the first few weeks, I stopped thinking so much about death and I
surprised myself by going to ask help from unlikely people to help me go
through my divorce and all the proceedings. That was so new to me, it even
surprised me.
Really,
I am an advocate of this therapy or have become one. I am writng this two years
after I did my therapy, and there hasn't been a day I have not been grateful
to....for telling me about this therapy. For anyone who's lied awake thinking
that DEATH would bring RELEASE, I say: Give this a try, you will not regret it,
I swear,
Thanks
to all who helped me through this. I thank me for doing it.
Theme:
healing from family feuds
Teresa
writes:
I
didn't have menstruations for 12 years. At 16, I weighed 82 pounds. I was
hooked on a respirator and spoon fed baby food for a whole year. I was
hospitalized and given last rites. I lost many fine years in my life. But an
angel watched over me in the person of my aunt....she insisted that I move away
from my parents' home where I was an only child.
My
mother is the best at everything and I shall never be able to measure up. I
have stopped trying, but for many years, I was in a competition with her. My therapy
is over, but I'm still trying to rebuild myself and get to know and love who I
am.
I
started vomiting when I was 11 years old. My mom and dad would get into solid
arguments about my weight; dad calling it my baby fat and saying the appeal of
boys would soon turn me into a beautiful swan, my mother insisting on measuring
the food on my plate, even when we had company. What humiliation! She also
forced me to swallow laxatives.
I felt
like I was such a failure and a deception. I swore to myself that I would get
to master my weight. A girlfriend on my soccer team said she made herself vomit
when she ate too much. I learn fast, I was soon an adept, as well as becoming a
really good liar about all the time I either spent in the washroom or why I was
only picking at my food in my plate. It felt like a game sometimes and I became
quite good at managing myself in other ways as well.
No one
suspected until June 2007. It was at an anniversary dinner. I ate and shortly
after, I headed for the W.C., my little cousin entered, heard me and told my
angel aunt who confronted me. I was soon telling her in bits and pieces about
my personal hell. My aunt works at the ....public health, so she got on the
phone and called her friends who refered her to ............ I wasn't yet ready
to give it up so I started going down fast. When I reached 82 pounds, my doctor
recommended hospitalization. It was worse than anything else. I had no power on
what happened to me and I was ready to die, or so I thought. It felt like I was
dying anyway.
My aunt
continued to look for a miracle. One day, she met Lorraine at a cultural
function and after talking about me, invited her to visit me in the hospital.
I
didn't meet with her until eight months later (To be released from the
hospital, I had to gain weight), but the therapy was what I needed. Today, I am
learning to respect myself and to say no. When I was residing in a group home,
a lot of the work involved getting to know the needs of my body. It was very
useful, but when I started the inner work, I started to understand what got me
where I was. I was reliving the whole scene and I saw how I preened for my mother
as if I was a talented little monkey. I wanted to please so much that I wanted
to die if she had asked me: that is how it felt for me.
I
haven't made my peace with my mother and I don't even want to at this time. But
I am living very well with my decision. I have work that I like and I have
started to see a man who really cares for me. Everyday is a challenge, but I am
now better equipped to face up. If needed, I know I would go back into tunnel
therapy and that it is not a sign of failure, but one which shows how I want to
live strong and healthy, both physically and mentally.
Message from Lorraine Loranger
Our
fast-moving modern lives prevent us from following our natural rhythm. Based on
hyperactivity, competition, and will, we hold in contempt our fatigue and
stress. As we go beyond, producing efforts upon efforts, we buck up, we hang
on, we persist and end up...exhausted.
Let us say that I
have a philosophy for doing the work I do and the way I do it. Accounts of significant events in the life of the
narrator have a plot, which is less often
chronological and more often arranged according to a principle determined by
the nature of the help the person needs. It is non-conventional: narration in the sense that it is used here deals
with description, time, as well as context.
Thank you for your continuous support making sure education touches all your contacts.
