Memories never fade, they are hard-wired in our minds

There are few things I like talking about more than about reducing stress through the narrative discourse using the first person viewpoint, first, because of the results second, because, once a client has done it, it is almost like starting to write on a clean slate. I would say that doing this work is "a return to life". It is a wonderful way to clean up the past and reach levels of joy and fulfilment never reached before. 

What makes humans suffer? On a spiritual level, it is said that we choose our parents and circumstances, but in real life, who does? Everyday, children are beaten; many experience neglect and forms of violence.

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL 
The light at the end of the tunnel is always available to the individual willing to travel through it-what shows up is about the past, about unresolved issues and events and emotions.

                              The light at the end of the tunnel is available

To revise for changes in your life
When you revise decisions taken before the age of six;

When you hurt and you share your pain;
When you face up to situations, even those of the past;

When you aim to make changes in your life, etc.

The influence of the past on your brain functions

The influence of the past on brain functions proves that it is bestowed with memory. As proof, when an individual encounters an event which triggers an emotional response, when circumstances provide a similar situation, an image forms in his mind to stimulate a "fightor flight" reaction. Chances are that if the previous event is not resolved, the emotional response will be the same as the initial one. (read on to the "intimidation" story down below)

Perception is an interpretation

Between the image provided by the mind now and what happened at the beginning, the difference is never total because our perception is an interpretation, an acknowledgement that sets up our memory, especially with regard to our affectivity.

To uncover decisions taken as a child

When there are traumatic memories, the "emotional life story" is used to synthesize the sequences in an event. Because of its narrative content, the material becomes more bearable and then the tools of tunnel therapy are employed to uncover any decision, any long lasting affects, any unresolved issues and emotions.

Our habits and our memories influence our choices

We all know that any emotional charge will prevent anyone to be objective. It is normal to see through our habits and our memories. The only reason a memory comes back is because there is an emotional charge; even body zones will give sensations when the individual is confronted to images from the past.

A flashback

A while back, a client with a history of foster placements, had a particular experience. A development contractor built a wall overlooking her backyard and she had a severe breakdown that brought her into therapy. At the beginning, she had a lot of trouble identifying what she felt and she experienced confusion and distress. Her body was stuck into a reaction and multiple flashbacks of being tied to a chair and locked into a dark garage as a punishment emerged.

In spite of, or maybe because she had a university education, she had problems with the inner turmoil she daily pushed back, trying to forget the past rather than facing up to it head on. Her body was showing signs of incredible stress-related discomforts: back aches, headaches to full-fledged migraines and crohn's disease. Most images related to past events form in youth. In the case of my client, they were forgotten but they reappeared as they were just fixed temporarily out of reach, until needed.

It is impossible to control flashbacks

The real problem lies with the uncontrollable flashbacks. A young man had learned in the school yard that when "intimidated", it was better to let it happen than to tell, because the director and the teachers all said he was attracting such treatment. It was only once he became an adult and left college that life became safe again, but after several suicide attempts, he still had flashbacks of those trying times.

There is talk of a pill that would eliminate memories

Contrary to popular belief, it would not be useful not to be able to access these memories because then, we would be likely to encounter the same situations and not remembering, we would have to relive it without an inkling of what to do to avoid it or to fix it. That would clearly be counterproductive. There are many aspects learned in an event.

Can you imagine, if after learning to open a door, you needed to relearn it everytime? It is the same with the content of trauma. One needs to be aware of the lesson learned to deal with future events. It is the emotional content that needs to be neutralized.

Learn "safe bounderies"

When the "reminiscences" linked to memories are a possibility to learn "safe boundaries", we can say the individual is guided by his good instincts. In his case, there never were safe boundaries. This faculty, so helpful to adapt to new situations similar to ones in his youth, were severely lacking in this young person. Revising this part of his life was a real trial for him but he wanted to develop a strong core and he did.

Our instinctive, emotional life is complicated by our emotional needs 

In the animal kingdom, nature is marvelously adequate. If the surrenal glands are removed on a rat, it will lead to modification of the blood's mineral balance. And when you present pure water and salted water to the rat, he will choose the salted water, thereby avoiding death. It knows nothing of endocrinology, but his blood will sensitize his hypothalamus so that, instinctively, it will make the choice of salted water as opposed to pure water.

Our instinctive, emotional life is complicated by our emotional needs and what we choose: because we have freedom of will, from birthing practices to choosing life partners, we often make a choice based on complex needs that have nothing to do with what is good for us. That is reason enough to do a therapy to CLEAN up our acts and choose better without waiting until we are old and wise enough to choose differently.

WISDOM IS HARD TO COME BY FOR ANYONE THAT HAS A PAST FILLED WITH PAIN AND BAD MEMORIES.

Message from Lorraine Loranger

Our fast-moving modern lives prevent us from following our natural rhythm. Based on hyperactivity, competition, and will, we hold in contempt our fatigue and stress. As we go beyond, producing efforts upon efforts, we buck up, we hang on, we persist and end up...exhausted.

Let us say that I have a philosophy for doing the work I do and the way I do it. Accounts of significant events in the life of the narrator have a plot, which is less often chronological and more often arranged according to a principle determined by the nature of the help the person needs. It is non-conventional: narration in the sense that it is used here deals with time, description, as well as context. 

Thank you for your continuous support making sure education touches all your contacts.

Therapy is a powerful tool to discharge negative emotions/testimony

There are few things I like talking about more than about reducing stress through the narrative discourse using the first person viewpoint, first, because of the results second, because, once a client has done it, it is almost like starting to write on a clean slate. I would say that doing this work is "a return to life". It is a wonderful way to clean up the past and reach levels of joy and fulfilment never reached before. 

 

Tunnel therapy brings outstanding results

Survivors of trauma have not reached psychological maturity

When people are survivors of certain trauma, they readily admit that they got older but never really grew up. One of the ways in which survivors know they have not grown up is that they identify with some of their fixed emotions, feeling their anger is triggered by someone: "I'm angry because you make me angry". Easily triggered, they do not experience emotions created as appropriate to their beliefs, desires, involvements and what they want out of life.

Inner work opens onto direct communication with the subconscious mind

This technique of inner work called the tunnel therapy is one which opens onto a direct communication with the subconscious mind to heal past traumas and to overcome limiting beliefs. The people who consult in tunnel therapy face and tackle their problems at their root cause.

Emotions that remain locked in are negative affects

Everyone is enabled to access their emotions. Certain emotions like fear and stress stay locked in the body, profoundly affecting most people much of the time. Once they have finally released states of fear, anger, anxiety, stress, depression and loneliness, and the blockages are removed, vitality flows freely and a sense of calm and well-being is expected.

In essence, three ways are commonly used in handling a feeling:

Suppress it. But mostly, suppressed feelings stay there, building up and festering inside, causing anxiety, tension, depression, and many stress-related problems, causing the individual to behave in ways he doesn't understand, seemingly out of control.

Express it. Losing one's temper relieves the pressure of accumulated emotions because it puts the feeling into some type of action, but it doesn't get rid of the feeling, or the roots that create the feeling. It only relieves the pressure of it momentarily.   

Avoiding the issue. Coping with the feelings by avoiding the issue, by talking, watching TV, eating, smoking, drinking, taking drugs, having sex, thwarts our efforts to escape them; we know they are still there. The form of stress they generate takes a toll on the body.

Option for handling a feeling – once you focus on it, fully experience it, you can let it go.

It involves putting words on it, working it out, releasing it, and then, discharging it from the body, from the mind in order to develop better coping strategies where and when it applies.

Stress, anxiety, shame, guilt, pain, sadness, trauma 

These are feelings and emotions consistent with being human. At times, these can block our ability to live life fully and give us the impression that we are stuck in situations beyond our control, such as when we find ourselves repeating patterns of violence in relationships, failures with career choices, or repetitions of physical ailments and health issues indicating our ill being.

The tunnel therapy is a powerful tool to let go of negative emotions

Tunnel therapy is a simple but powerful tool that can help regain the sense of choice over negative emotions and help each individual recover personal power, turning the stuck energy into empowerment so that he can freely choose what is best in his life. After releasing the negative emotions, the individual is free to experience more of life's joy and happiness as well as health.

Violence and harassment in the workplace

A lot of people have experienced violence in the workplace. It usually starts benignly, but some claim it has damaged their self-esteem so much that once they got away from the agressor, they were unable to return to work. Evidently, there are two sides to all stories, but what follows is the story of one person who has decided to fight for her rights.

TESTIMONIES

Theme: violence in the workplace

Angela writes:

I raised my children before I went on the workforce. When I first began, I was excited and very motivated. The work entailed training people and I loved the contact with the other workers. Eventually other women joined the task group and it soon became clear that one person who didn't know me was already against me. Snide remarks about my choice of attire, taking all the opportunities to speak down to me in front of the others, tatling to our boss about my supposedly wrongdoings, direct attacks at the dinner table concerning my faith, all these remarks became everyday events.

When I went to my boss regarding this, she said I was an adult, that I should communicate to this other worker about how it made me feel. I tried but this person had a bagful of tricks to destabilize me. It was ten long years before I was able to make a change in my work situation, but the damage was done. When I entered therapy, it became clear that I was suffering from low esteem and I tracked it down to all the low, unspeakable comments addressed to me while on that workteam. Not only did I feel fragile and unimportant, but somehow, I almost validated the right to others to denigrate me like that. I almost felt responsable for the attacks and it was really because I knew I must be wrong about this that I even spoke about it. I felt shameful of this situation and was afraid I would be judged on the merits of those attacks on my person. Truly, I felt demolished.

Eventually, I looked at other aspects of violence in my life. It was very liberating, but I had to build my self-esteem over again. It was a lot of work and I could have avoided all of that if I had trusted my instincts as soon as it started. Today, I would do it differently and I'm proud to have gained back my self-love and my dignity. 

The feeling of being abandoned

Family and friends of suicidal people bring them to this therapy with a lot of expectations. Often, the person is even brought by family members who are desperately trying to save her or him.

In this instance, I met Lee when she was getting other services than mine. When she became my client, I had no idea what would happen as I had absolutely no background or family to fall back on should she attempt something at my Center.

Theme: heal from being abandoned

Lee writes:

When I first met Ms. Loranger, I had attempted on my life 13 times already. I was under 40 years old and didn't think I could go on much longer, having been abandoned by my ex-husband shortly before.

Maybe you think that I didn't really want to die, maybe so, but each time I thought "This is it!" And I was so angry when I woke up in the hospital after trying again.

I tell you, I was building on my repertoire of techniques so that one of these times I would succeed.

You know how you make scenarios in your mind. When I was given Ms. Loranger's name and accepted to do the therapy, I had to do it, just to prove that I had given it a try. When I did kill myself, whoever had believed it could help me would not hold it against me, because after all I had tried. Right?

Six sessions later, I was a little better. When life has been so miserable for so long, every little bit counts and it is noticeable. I could also tell that there was a slight shift in my attitude, my "thoughts" even appeared more "normal" if I can say it that way. It still took a full year of process to RESTORE me.

I'm lucky in the sense that I own property and I was thus able to fund my therapy. After the first few weeks, I stopped thinking so much about death and I surprised myself by going to ask help from unlikely people to help me go through my divorce and all the proceedings. That was so new to me, it even surprised me.

Really, I am an advocate of this therapy or have become one. I am writng this two years after I did my therapy, and there hasn't been a day I have not been grateful to....for telling me about this therapy. For anyone who's lied awake thinking that DEATH would bring RELEASE, I say: Give this a try, you will not regret it, I swear,

Thanks to all who helped me through this. I thank me for doing it.

Theme: healing from family feuds

Teresa writes:

I didn't have menstruations for 12 years. At 16, I weighed 82 pounds. I was hooked on a respirator and spoon fed baby food for a whole year. I was hospitalized and given last rites. I lost many fine years in my life. But an angel watched over me in the person of my aunt....she insisted that I move away from my parents' home where I was an only child.

My mother is the best at everything and I shall never be able to measure up. I have stopped trying, but for many years, I was in a competition with her. My therapy is over, but I'm still trying to rebuild myself and get to know and love who I am.

I started vomiting when I was 11 years old. My mom and dad would get into solid arguments about my weight; dad calling it my baby fat and saying the appeal of boys would soon turn me into a beautiful swan, my mother insisting on measuring the food on my plate, even when we had company. What humiliation! She also forced me to swallow laxatives.

I felt like I was such a failure and a deception. I swore to myself that I would get to master my weight. A girlfriend on my soccer team said she made herself vomit when she ate too much. I learn fast, I was soon an adept, as well as becoming a really good liar about all the time I either spent in the washroom or why I was only picking at my food in my plate. It felt like a game sometimes and I became quite good at managing myself in other ways as well.

No one suspected until June 2007. It was at an anniversary dinner. I ate and shortly after, I headed for the W.C., my little cousin entered, heard me and told my angel aunt who confronted me. I was soon telling her in bits and pieces about my personal hell. My aunt works at the ....public health, so she got on the phone and called her friends who refered her to ............ I wasn't yet ready to give it up so I started going down fast. When I reached 82 pounds, my doctor recommended hospitalization. It was worse than anything else. I had no power on what happened to me and I was ready to die, or so I thought. It felt like I was dying anyway.

My aunt continued to look for a miracle. One day, she met Lorraine at a cultural function and after talking about me, invited her to visit me in the hospital.

I didn't meet with her until eight months later (To be released from the hospital, I had to gain weight), but the therapy was what I needed. Today, I am learning to respect myself and to say no. When I was residing in a group home, a lot of the work involved getting to know the needs of my body. It was very useful, but when I started the inner work, I started to understand what got me where I was. I was reliving the whole scene and I saw how I preened for my mother as if I was a talented little monkey. I wanted to please so much that I wanted to die if she had asked me: that is how it felt for me.

I haven't made my peace with my mother and I don't even want to at this time. But I am living very well with my decision. I have work that I like and I have started to see a man who really cares for me. Everyday is a challenge, but I am now better equipped to face up. If needed, I know I would go back into tunnel therapy and that it is not a sign of failure, but one which shows how I want to live strong and healthy, both physically and mentally.

Message from Lorraine Loranger

Our fast-moving modern lives prevent us from following our natural rhythm. Based on hyperactivity, competition, and will, we hold in contempt our fatigue and stress. As we go beyond, producing efforts upon efforts, we buck up, we hang on, we persist and end up...exhausted.

Let us say that I have a philosophy for doing the work I do and the way I do it. Accounts of significant events in the life of the narrator have a plot, which is less often chronological and more often arranged according to a principle determined by the nature of the help the person needs. It is non-conventional: narration in the sense that it is used here deals with description, time, as well as context. 

Thank you for your continuous support making sure education touches all your contacts.

"Addicted to Stress" inspired by the work of Dr. Hans Selye

There are few things I like talking about more than about reducing stress through the narrative discourse using the first person viewpoint, first, because of the results second, because, once a client has done it, it is almost like starting to write on a clean slate. I would say that doing this work is "a return to life". It is a wonderful way to clean up the past and reach levels of joy and fulfilment never reached before. 

When we talk of stress, there are people who say they that stress is good! I say there are different kinds of stress. The stress that keeps ypu up at night, that leaves you tired and out of joint to do what life demands of you is bad stress. The problem is that some people cumulate the effects of their stress, not only in their minds but also in their bodies. STRESS BREAKS US!

"The Stress of Life"

"It is not to see something first but to establish solid connections between the previously known and the hitherto unknown, that constitutes the essence of scientific discovery. It is this process of tying together which can best promote true understanding and real progress"

Hans Selye, M.D. "The Stress of Life"

In his book, "When the Body Says No: the Cost of Hidden Stress", Gabor Maté asks these very pertinent questions:

-When is stress too much?

-What is your fear?

-Are you fearful that if you don't take on something, you might be rejected or perceived as weak?

-Are you afraid that if you stop, you will feel your unhappiness?

-Or does being so busy define you and provide you with a sense of your identity?

-Is that how you measure your self-value?

An ideal candidate for stress

This is the story of my friend Sonia. She is a real person and for years she had reminded me of a Philadelphia cheese commercial on TV where an angel claimed running to yoga classes stressed her. 

                                                           Addicted to Stress

Seing the whole picture
Even if I considered my friend Sonia a serious contender for being a zen master, I used to think I wasn't seing the whole picture. She walked two hours a day, meditated 5 days a week, belonged to the gym, went swimming every other day, but despite these healthy habits, her life was out of control. Long hours in her work as an nurse and volunteer commitments were taking their toll on her sunny disposition until she realized she prided herself on her ability to handle her multi-task juggling act to the detriment of a more manageable lifestyle. This is when she understood that she was addicted to stress.

Adrenalin is like a drug

As a child, my friend Sonia came from a dysfonctional family where all kinds of things were happening. So that through her frantic lifestyle, she was accustomed to high level of cortisol and adrenalin. She did not perceive her lifestyle as stressful until she felt out of control after her thyroid ceased to function properly. She was used to the level of stress she had experienced as a youngster growing up in her whacky family.

Even after stopping the threadmill, my friend was tempted to return to old habits, but after some inner work, she started getting her life in real balance.

Alarming statistics about extreme stress
Statistics Canada claims 1.5 million women between the ages of 20 to 44 years old say they suffer from "extreme stress". Today, women are proud of their ability to shoulder every demand, equating stress with success.

The consequences of chronic stress
The consequences of chronic stress range from exasperating-that cold that you can't kick off, overeating, chain smoking, drinking to sleep better-to downright illnesses and diseases-cancer, depression, hypertension, diabetes. Research shows that stress hormones are passed to the foetus in utero, thereby upping the risk of newborn babies having serious health issues, such as asthma and attention deficits.

The "fight or flight" response is programmed in our brain

If you've read other articles pertaining to psychosomatics, you know that when we meet a stressful situation or have been living under stress for a while, our adrenal glands release hormones-cortisol, adrenalin and noradrenalin-kicking up our "fight or flight" response, shutting down other functions such as sleep and immune response to metabolize energy on behalf of the body and to protect the organism from a perceived danger.

The body reveals the level of stress

These same hormones often become addictive so that someone might seek the rush that comes with it and will even create stress, often developing symptoms of depression when not stressed out.

The best gauge on whether or not there is too much stress in your life is your body. Excessive stress can cause a range of symptoms-anxiety, back pain, repeated colds, disruption in sleep pattern, insomnia, skin eruptions, migraine headaches, muscular pain and even eating disorders. These conditions should alert you that your organism is on overload. All these symptoms impact your ability to conduct your life and how you make your decisions. Over time, these conditions can wreck havoc on your bone structure, on your gastro-intestinal track, on your coronaries, on your nervous system, and on your immune system which can lead to serious diseases.

Our immune system does not exist in isolation from daily experience
Do not be fooled: even if medical textbooks take on an exclusively biological view of the body showing that dualism still colours beliefs on health and illness, our immune system does not exist in isolation from daily experience.

To read: When the Body Says NO: The Cost of Hidden Stress, Gabor Maté, Vintage Canada Edition, 2004.

Message from Lorraine Loranger Our fast-moving modern lives prevent us from following our natural rhythm. Based on hyperactivity, competition, and will, we hold in contempt our fatigue and stress. As we go beyond, producing efforts upon efforts, we buck up, we hang on, we persist and end up...exhausted. I have a philosophy for doing the work I do and the way I do it. Accounts of significant events in the life of the narrator have a plot, which is less often chronological and more often arranged according to a principle determined by the nature of the help the person needs. It is non-conventional: narration in the sense that it is used here deals with description, time, as well as context.  Thank you for your continuous support making sure education touches all your contacts.

DEPRESSION KILLS THE SPIRIT

There are few things I like talking about more than about reducing stress through the narrative discourse using the first person viewpoint, first, because of the results second, because, once a client has done it, it is almost like starting to write on a clean slate. I would say that doing this work is "a return to life". It is a wonderful way to clean up the past and reach levels of joy and fulfilment never reached before. 

Following our natural rhythm is unnatural in this day and age
Our fast-moving modern lives prevent us from following our natural rhythm. Based on hyperactivity, competition, agressivity, and will, we hold in contempt our fatigue, when it is our best alarm system. We go beyond, producing efforts upon efforts. And from fatigue, we buck up, we hang on, we persist and end up...exhausted.

Our athletes give all they have to be on a podium with a medal. When they fail, they have to give up that dream for a long while and it can be devastating, changing the course of their life.

Exhaustion produces two reactions

Exhaustion produces two reactions: depression and agitation. The exhausted is caracterized by two poles: he depresses and he is anxious and agitated.

Depression is inhibiting with its incapacity to act

In depression, activity is greatly reduced: gestures, speech, digestive functions are troubled, then slowed. Thinness, trembling, vision blurs, tachicardia appear; depression is inhibiting and debilitating with its incapacity to act. The physical and mental energy is insufficient to accomplish even ordinary tasks. It is normal that the depressed refuses to handle any situation demanding action: the nervous system, slowed down or bogged down, does not allow it anymore.

Depression may appear after a prolonged stressful situation

Depression, with its psychological component, appears after prolonged stressful situations, doubts, anxiety-provoking circumstances and fears, and by exhaustion, brings about a state of free-falling tension. Often insomniac, the depressed experiences migraine headaches, a sense of increasing physical and mental weariness, and therefore, an inability to concentrate. Mania and tics develop, and on top of physical ailments, the depressed is afraid of going crazy. Emotions are in upheaval and uncontrollable.

Deliberate willfulness plunges the depressed into apathy

"Willfulness" is the quality most lacking for the depressed. The dispersion of deliberate willfulness plunges the depressed into an apathy he does not recognize.

If, what is described here resembles your problem, you need to see a doctor. But you also need to take care of your spirit because sleeping better is not going to remove whatever it is that brought this on.

The need to revise the situations at the origin of the depression

A psychotherapy is nessecary to revise the situations originating in the stress and at least, to offer you new methods of handling your stress.

Unraveling childhood conditionning patterns changes cognitive references

Unraveling childhood conditionning patterns changes cognitive references and processes to allow you to act differently in any given situation.

Message from Lorraine Loranger

Our fast-moving modern lives prevent us from following our natural rhythm. Based on hyperactivity, competition, and will, we hold in contempt our fatigue and stress. As we go beyond, producing efforts upon efforts, we buck up, we hang on, we persist and end up...exhausted.

Let us say that I have a philosophy for doing the work I do and the way I do it. Accounts of significant events in the life of the narrator have a plot, which is less often chronological and more often arranged according to a principle determined by the nature of the help the person needs. It is non-conventional: narration in the sense that it is used here deals with description, time, as well as context. 

Thank you for your continuous support making sure education touches all your contacts.

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO YOU

There are few things I like talking about more than about reducing stress through the narrative discourse using the first person viewpoint, first, because of the results second, because, once a client has done it, it is almost like starting to write on a clean slate. I would say that doing this work is "a return to life". It is a wonderful way to clean up the past and reach levels of joy and fulfilment never reached before. 

Let us say that I have a philosophy for doing the work I do and the way I do it.

To let you in on what it is, I invite you, my reader, to postulate that, at a certain level, all behaviors serve a positive intention.

As an example, an aggressive behavior or a lie might serve as a protection. The positive intention behind feeling fear is usually a need for security. Even the resistance to change can serve different positive intention, such as to honour or to protect oneself.

Let's now look at psychosomatic disorders or an authenticated medical condition or issue. Let's look at fatigue: maybe, the fatigue alerts the person to her need to stop, rest and relax. And how about migraine: it might alert the person to the major stresses of her life indicating a need for major changes, or again, it might be to signal her powerlessness in the face of relational problems, indicating a need to clear things up.

I can only imagine, because, for each person in therapy, such a symptom might uncover a totally different positive intention.

Then again, we have to speak of secondary benefits: I remember a mother sharing that whenever she had to make a business travel, her daughter would get sick. The separation syndrome, here, signaled that the child was distressed by the coming absence of her mother. Had the mother cancelled her plans, the child would have learned the benefits of being sick. No child consciously wants to be sick, but if there is a result in being sick, it might be used over and over again. It is not even consciously dictated by the child; once used with some degree of success, it can become an automatic response.

The tunnel therapy or emotional life story gives the individual the comprehension of her own positive intentions behind unadapted behaviors, health issues or other demands for changes, therefore paving the way to choosing new behaviors and changes that will last once the real positive intention is uncovered.

One of the first principles my work adheres to in the therapeutic setting is to respond to a demand for change by examining all positive intentions discovered with a lot of respect because if a positive intention is not satisfied due to a conflicting inner agenda, changes might not last. As a therapist, I want to do the work well only once.

Here is an example taken from one of my clients. Maybe, some people will recognize themselves here. A mother came to see me to change her prompt to severely hit her children when she perceived that they had misbehaved. To her surprise, when we did the necessary inner work, she discovered that "it was her way to show them her love". The "hitting" actually provided a connection, which reminded me of the "theory of chaos". No one will be surprised to find out, this mother had gotten her fair share of "hitting" in her youth and that her family was tightly knit.

Once we uncovered this positive intention, it was easy to replace this behavior with a more "appropriate and socially acceptable" behavior and it has proven to give long-lasting results. She has now adopted two young children and claims she could not have done that before as she didn't trust herself around children.

You know as well as I do, that, it is not because someone wants to change that he is capable of effecting the change. There are many unknown benefits to keep a behavior going and there are many unclear motivations to change it. But if you can find its underlying program (its real one, not one you suspect only), it is easier to work on the "positive intention" while changing the behavior. That will work for anything that requires a new decision or a change of behavior.

Message from Lorraine Loranger

Our fast-moving modern lives prevent us from following our natural rhythm. Based on hyperactivity, competition, and will, we hold in contempt our fatigue and stress. As we go beyond, producing efforts upon efforts, we buck up, we hang on, we persist and end up...exhausted.

Let us say that I have a philosophy for doing the work I do and the way I do it. Accounts of significant events in the life of the narrator have a plot, which is less often chronological and more often arranged according to a principle determined by the nature of the help the person needs. It is non-conventional: narration in the sense that it is used here deals with description, time, as well as context. 

Thank you for your continuous support making sure education touches all your contacts.